She Speaks

Greetings Beautiful People!

If we could get a gold star or a salary for how well we take care of everyone else, we'd have millions of both! We have great habit strength in being there for everyone (our children, parents, significant others, friends, etc.), yet if we were granted an opportunity for the same rewards for how well we take care of ourselves...we often would be in the red (insufficient). We deserve to stay in the black (positive) for how well we take care of the one mind, body and spirit we have. Often though, we put everyone else's needs before our own. I wonder why we do this. Sometimes it's because we feel like if we don't do it, no one else will or if they do it, they won't do it right so we just have to be the person to do it. Every had some of these feelings or thoughts? We put a lot of extra stress on our chest and our backs and often the other people have gone on and are living lovely while we're unhappy and tired and exhausted. This isn't fair and though we know this, we still neglect to take care of ourselves until our bodies makes us stop. Self-care is all about exactly what it says...care for self. If you don't care for yourself, who will? I know, we sometimes feel guilty for carving out a few minutes for ourselves, yet it's very necessary. We are better at every role we have when we take care of us first. Many of us have gone without self-care for so long that we've forgotten what makes us...well...US! Who are we at our core? What makes us smile? What excites us? Don't you think it's time to do some things to get back to those things that help us remember our beautiful truths? I've created a list of things that can be done to implement self-care. Some cost little to nothing at all (since I know many of us will say we don't have the money before even reading the list). Let's see what from this list of 25 self-care strategies you can do today!


1) Meditate. (Sleep Meditation-Guided: https://youtu.be/N4qCFFBrrgk) 

2) Work Out.

3) Pray.

4). Take A Bubble Bath With Candles And Calming Music.

5) Bury Your Toes In The Sand.

6) Read A Good Book.

7) Get A Massage.

8) Take A Nap (No Interruptions).

9) Get A Manicure/Pedicure.

10) Get Your Hair Done/Cut.

11) Schedule "Me Time" On Your Calendar Or In Your Planner.

12) Start Your Day With Inspirational Music.

13) Call Or Visit Family & Friends.

14) Create And Send A Care Package To Someone Special.

15) Turn Your Phone Off And Step Away From The Computer.

16) Make A List Of Positive Things In Your Life That You're Grateful For.

17) Have a Dance Party All By Yourself To Music You Love!

18) Rearrange Your Furniture In A New Way. 

19) Check In With Yourself To Check Your Emotions For A Few Minutes Each Day So They Don't Build Up.

20) Go To A Movie At Your Favorite Theater All By Yourself.

21) Create A Piece Of Art Just For Fun!

22)  Go To A Support Meeting And Share.

23) Eat Dinner On A Blanket In The Grass At Your House Or In The Park (And Invite Company If You'd Like).

24) Write A Poem Or Song And Share It.

25) Play A Sports Game (Favorite One From Your Youth).

These are just a few, however I hope it gets the ball rolling! It's fun to take care of yourself, especially since you do it so well for everyone. Self-care allows you to have internal peace and be a great daughter/son, husband/wife, friend, significant other, educator, professional, etc. If you're not in a good place, how can you be so good for everyone else? Take the time to take care of YOU and start today! Thank me later!

Serenity & Sunshine,
Celest Divine
#SheSPEAKS

Greetings Beautiful People,

Happy New Year!!!! It's 2017!!!! I pray you welcomed the new year in safely and like the BOSS you are!!!! Can I keep it real for a moment? People often indicate a desire to keep it real or "Keep it 100," yet the way most people live and evolve couldn't be further from this authentic concept. I mean honestly, it's easier to be the opposite of real, especially with the rise of social media and online dating which allows you to be whomever you'd like to be behind a computer screen and a keyboard. It's easy to be someone else or an elevated version of yourself, yet it takes great courage to really be REAL. Let's first define real, shall we? Real by dictionary.com's definition is 1) actually existing as a thing or occurring in fact; not imagined or supposed and 2) (of a substance or thing) not imitation or artificial; genuine. Do you see you, by daily operational functions, in these definitions? Are you genuine consistently? Do you sometimes try to add that lil' white lie to your day or profile to seem more interesting? What has happened in our lives that have made the powdered nose more intriguing than natural face? When did we create the mask and how long have we been wearing it? Do we wear it for everyone or just our colleagues? How can we keep it real in 2017? Let's consider these 7 ways to do just that:

1) Focus on YOUR truth. 
(Notice that I said YOUR TRUTH because what you have going on is about you first. Before including your love, significant other, friends or family, you have to first look at what YOU have going on. Is your truth acceptable to you? Are there things you'd like to change? What's keeping you from changing them? Only YOU! You have to first decide what your truth represents and what you want to do to make it better before you let others in, if you let them in at all.)

2) Look in the mirror daily and speak truth to that person.
(Being dishonest to others may come easily for you, yet rarely can you look at your own reflection and be dishonest to that person because you know the real deal. Tell yourself the truth and speak positive affirmations to that reflection so you can focus on being the person you are aspiring to be.)

3) Be a person of integrity.
(If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you find that you're unable to do what you previously committed to doing, it's imperative that you communicate with the people or group of people you made the commitment with. Show up in the world as someone with integrity and others will be able to count on you and be there for you when you need them as well.)

4) Tell the truth. 
(Now this seems very simple, yet if we're honest with ourselves...lies can sometimes be more entertaining. Before you speak it....think about it. Ask yourself, "is this the truth?" "What do I gain by being dishonest?" "Am I okay being dishonest?" "Would I be okay with them not telling me the truth as I'm doing to them?")

5) Stop lying. 
(Again, this goes right along with number 4, yet if you are really ready to be about your business, lying will only complicate this. Before you speak, pause and think about the weight of this lie. As you know, once you tell one lie...you have to tell another to cover that first lie and another to cover the lie that covered the first lie and it continues. Is this really how you want to show up in the world, as a liar?)

6) Operate with passion.
(Ever had to complete a task that you had no passion for? How well did you do it? Did you give it your best or did you settle for sub-par performance even though this would speak to your personal and/or professional integrity? If you are not passionate about it, you may not be the best one to complete the task. If it's work and you have been directed to complete it, put your passion into it as much as possible by speaking positively about the task. This will make the task get completed quicker and your performance will be exemplary, which is always a win win!)

7) Implement self-care.
(I know we all wear a gazillion hats, and we're often running around like a chicken with our heads cut off, yet we have to slow down and take care of self! Each of us only has one self, one mind, one body. We often abandon everything about self and what self needs to be successful. We ignore signs of needing to rest and sleep because we're rushing to meet deadlines. If, for some reason, you were unable to do the things you're rushing to do, they would eventually get done and the Earth would keep rotating. We have to do things to take care of our minds, bodies, spirits in order to be our most authentic selves. Think about it. When you take time to get that massage or pedicure or go on that walk or take that bubble bath, we're less likely to be untrue with ourselves and others. If you're too busy to go to a function or you just don't want to go...say no! When you're taking care of yourself, you don't have to lie to avoid hurting people's feelings. You can simply say...NO! It's powerful and taking care of YOU allows for that freedom to do just that!)

I wish you a lovely and prosperous 2017 beautiful people! I know it's going to be amazing, especially if you allow yourselves to keep it real more than you allow for the opposite. BE TRUE, BE YOU and Keep It Moving! 2017 belongs to you! Are you ready to claim it? Let's go!

Serenity & Sunshine,
Celest Divine
#SheSPEAKS

Happy New Year Beautiful People!

It's 2017 and though many people commit, or at least try to commit, to New Year resolutions, they often make them unrealistic which sets them up for failure. If, instead, we thought of positive changes in the new year as lifestyle changes, it may be a lot easier to focus on with real commitment. Suppose there were 15 lifestyle changes that could possibly make your quality of life a lot easier. Would you consider them? Let's take a look at these 15 and see what works for you:

1. Create a vision board: Write your vision...make it plain on notebook paper. Next, using magazine quotes, letter stickers and markers, add your vision to a thick poster board in any order that works for you using glue or paste. Once your vision board is complete, get a calendar and actually schedule the things on your vision board so you actually make time for your vision. Lastly, place your calendar and vision board in areas you will see daily. (I'm facilitating a Vision Board Session in 1 week, Jan. 8th at the ACC Library in Athens, GA at 3:00. Bring your materials and let me know via Facebook or email-cngeve@hotmail.com if you plan to attend.)
2. Eliminate toxic people from your life: This is much easier said than done, however we keep unhealthy people around for various reasons (comfort level, like/love/infatuation/good benefits, etc.), though they constantly tear down our spirit and make us question everything we do even down to what we wear and how we talk. Insecure people that are negative prey on others, at times, because they need to feel like they aren't alone and they feel powerful being able to dominate others. It doesn't matter who they are, if they don't make you feel good or like they're rooting for you to be your best self...LET THEM GO! With the beginning of each new year, I often say, "Some people just couldn't make it to this new year with me." It sounds sarcastic, yet it's true. Not everyone is meant to make it the whole way of your journey. Accept it and be okay with that. Trust me, there's great peace in this realization!
3. Get moving daily: Some people enjoy taking walks, running, swimming, working out with friends, doing housework with their fitbit tracking movement (which can be a lot of calories burned), playing sports or even my personal favorite...Zumba! Whatever you do, just MOVE! It's easy to complain about not being able to afford a gym membership or not having time even with a membership, yet you have to put fitness on your calendar just like you do everything else. What if you consciously committed to just taking more steps each day? Most smart phones have the health app and if not, there are several free apps available to help you track your steps. One thing that's working for me is not doing the exact same thing for fitness everyday. Today I may have a dance party in my living room where I imagine myself as a choreographer coming up with the perfect routine and tomorrow, I may keep my phone in my pocket while I clean up while occasionally walking out to the mailbox or up the street for fresh air. This keeps it fun and hey, I'm already down 11lbs. within the past 2 1/2 weeks! It's definitely a lifestyle change for me.
4. Drink more H20 (water): There are so many benefits of drinking water that I could go on for days, yet I won't. Some of the benefits include: healthier skin, relieves fatigues, flushes out toxins from your body, assists with weight loss, improves your mood, helps maintain the balance of bodily fluids, helps energize muscles, helps your kidneys, helps maintain normal bowel function, treats headaches and migraines since they are sometimes caused from being dehydrated, aids in digestion and constipation, healthier hair, etc. Bottom line, if you replace sugary drinks and alcohol at least by 50%, you will notice how much better you feel. Try these methods: having water with each snack and meal, keep a bottle of water with you in your car/at your desk/in your gym bag, drink a glass water when you wake up, etc.
5. Say "YES" to new experiences and adventures: We all have a million and one excuses for why we can't do something new or go try that new restaurant, yet what if we just said YES? Would it be so bad? We may discover new things about ourselves and expand our interests. Just say "YES" for a change! I'm re-reading Shonda Rhymes' book, Year of Yes. It's a great read! Check it out!
6. Have more dance parties: I know we often feel a little silly if we don't do dance moves exactly like the professionals, but so what? In your living room, bedroom, bathroom, car or even your kitchen, you can put on good music and have a ball! It increases your activity and it makes you feel good! Create your own dance moves and share some with others if you'd like! Either way, your party can consist of a group of friends or just you! Trust me, you feel better when you dance!
7. Step away for a moment to woosahhhh!!!: People sometimes ignore the importance of taking mental health moments to get away from everything and just exhale, yet it's incredibly important. You have to do what's best for you in order to maintain your sanity and peace. This doesn't mean clocking out and just leaving your job anytime you'd like, yet sometimes it may mean taking a break even if it's just to go to the restroom and have a silent scream until you can do the real one later. Sometimes you need to go and take deep breaths, count to ten, pace for a few moments, take a brief walk or maybe even going to the break room for a snack. At home with your family and friends, this is also vital. Your husband or wife, children and extended family members don't always mean to get on your nerves while pulling you in eight different directions, yet it happens and you can become frustrated, resentful and possibly say some choice words. In order to avoid this, sometimes you have to pre-teach to them that sometimes you need a mini break to your bedroom or bathroom or even on your back porch for a few minutes where no one speaks with you until you return. This may take a lot of practice, yet if you're consistent, it works because ultimately, your family wants you to be your best self.
8. More bubble baths with candles: If you've never done this, try it today. Light your candles, put on relaxing music (I happen to love Kem's music during this time), fill up the tub with lots of water and bubbles, put your cell phone on vibrate underneath your pillow on your bed so you're not disturbed, turn off the lights, get a bath pillow to put behind your neck and just relax until you're wrinkled! It's the best feeling in the world! By the way, kids should probably already be in bed and your significant other needs to know that this is your moment for peaceful relaxation.
9. Meditate: There are many many scientifically proven benefits of meditation. Some benefits include: improves focus/attention/ability to work under stress, improves information processing and decision-making, provides mental strength/resilience/emotional intelligence, relieves pain, helps manage ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), decrease in depression, regulating mood and anxiety disorders, reduces stress and general anxiety, increases grey matter concentration in the brain, improves psychomotor vigilance, reduces alcohol and substance abuse, improves learning/memory and self-awareness, etc. If you're unsure of how, look some of the guided meditation videos up on YouTube. Just press play.
10. Tune out from all forms of media (TV and Social Media) more: We all love staying connected to everyone via social media and tuning in to the juicy story plots on a lot television series, however if we calculate the number of minutes/hours per day spent doing these things, we'd be surprised to see that we have more than enough time to get other things done that could improve our quality of life such as spending time with family and friends, getting in more physical activity and even sleep. We need rest to remain energized! I'm not saying to stop altogether, yet let's cut back from all forms of media just a little each day and watch how much time you have for things and people that really matter. 
11. Make healthier choices with food and liquids: We all love a good cheat day with cheat meals that include a good cold soda, yet some of us have had cheat years where we've eaten whatever we've wanted whenever we've wanted them. This may or may not have affected our waist lines, yet it catches up with us in major ways. Imagine if you drank two 12 oz. sodas per day for 7 days which contains about 150 calories per can. That's 300 calories per day of high fructose corn syrup, caramel color, caffeine, phosphoric acid, coca extract, lime extract, vanilla and glycerin. That's 2,100 calories per week, 63,000 calories in a 30 day month and about 756,000 calories in 12 months. Remember about 3,500 calories equals 1 pound so that's about...216 pounds for one year, give or take. We haven't even considered our food intake. This is only what we're drinking. In Weight Watchers, we often say..."let's not drink up all of our points," because it's so easy to do. A Big Mac from McDonald's alone is 563 calories! That's not including the fries or the drink. I'm more conscious of this now because I'm 35 and have had a few cheat years so I'm doing these lifestyle changes with you. Nothing happens overnight, yet maybe we can begin making small changes together.
12. Save your money more than you spend it: It's easier said than done, however a lack of money management can get in the way of many goals and dreams of home ownership, starting a business or even buying a car because everything is connected to your credit. It's imperative that you monitor your credit score and see what's affecting your credit. You can do this for free at www.creditkarma.com. I've also heard great things about credit sesame. Let's say you have great credit, yet you spend frivolously. Life events happen and sometimes they cost a lot of money to fix or repair. If you've spent without regard to how much or even on what you're buying, when you're in need of money, you will have nothing there to use. We have to think of it like this, I have x amount of dollars budgeted for bills and monthly expenses and though I have x amount left over to play with, let me take some of the play money and put it to the side for a rainy day. It's helpful for some people if this money is automatically deducted from their monthly income and sent to a separate account at a different financial institution. Whatever it takes, do it and DO NOT TOUCH IT unless it's a serious emergency.
13. Don't be afraid to say "NO": This needs no explanation. We all say yes to things we shouldn't and become somewhat resentful to those people we should've said no to. There is power in saying "NO" to things and people that do not deserve your yes. Think of it like this, saying "NO" to them is sometimes the best way to say "YES" to you!

Have a Happy New Year beautiful people and stay tuned for biweekly blogs at Blog Life on www.celestngeve.com. 

Serenity, Sunshine & Love,
Celest Divine

Greetings Beautiful People,

In just a few hours it'll be a brand new year...2017!!! I didn't want the year to end without me first saying how much I appreciate all of the positive energy and support you've sent my way by showing your shining faces at shows, liking/loving/sharing my social media posts, following me and greeting me with virtual and physical hugs, supporting the Queens Empowerment Sessions, supporting my books (2 new ones are coming in 2017) and cd's, calling, texting and just being positively good humans that have helped my vision become a reality. If you haven't signed up for mailing list, feel free to join me by signing up on my website. I appreciate each of you and tomorrow I will be relaunching my website!!! In 2017 you can expect the following from me:

*Bi-weekly blogs (2nd and 4th Thursday of each month, sometimes other days too!)
*2 New books!!!! (May 2017 and November 2017, tentatively)
*More t-shirts (new Queens t-shirt will be available for pre-order this week!)
*New cd!!!
*Queens Empowerment Sessions (next one is 1/21/17, tickets will be available on www.celestngeve.com and in person!!!)
*Pop Up Photo Specials
*Writer's Workshops
*Youth Activities
*Queens Empowerment Retreat (April 14-16, 2017-$275: room, board, t-shirt, activities, fellowship and ALL FOOD)
*Group Couples' Therapy Sessions
...and much more!!!!

Again, I just want you to know how grateful I am to you for ALL you do to keep me going so that I can provide the positive energy, services, resources and activities you want and need! I love you all and pray you make it safely into the new year with a clear vision and many realistic goals for you to reach!!! The code word for 2017 is ELEVATE!!!!

Elevate your mind, Elevate your spirit and Elevate your body...you're worth it!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR to each of you and the families you represent!!!!

Serenity & Sunshine,
Celest Divine

Greetings Beautiful People!

As we began to wrap up 2016, it's helpful to reflect on what we've come to know that will help propel us into a prosperous new year. If we go back and read old journals, we'd probably have certain things that would make us say, quietly and aloud, "Thank you God for growth!" We made decisions and had beliefs years ago that we don't have now because each second of each day we're evolving into the person we are to become. Years ago, you couldn't have told me I'd find solace in taking myself out for a movie and dinner, yet I've done it and actually find it quite peaceful. Years ago, I was sure that by age 33, I'd have been married with at least one child and that if I didn't, something would definitely be wrong with me because I'd be so far from everyone's "normal" life trajectory. Yet, here I am...a trailblazing 35 years young with no Boaz or babies that came from my womb and I'm okay. I'm not rushing the process and I'm not abnormal. I'm "My Normal." I wouldn't have understood that six years ago which is why it's helpful to sometimes make a list of things we've come to know and believe, then look back on the list to see if our beliefs changed or remained the same. Here's just a few things of what I know for sure on 12/31/2016 (feel free to make your own list and keep it somewhere safe so you can reflect a year from now):

1. Family is everything (especially immediate). 

2. Love is ubiquitous (mine is for sure). 

3. Fences, the movie has many lessons. 

4. Business requires investment & time. 

5. Goals shouldn't be limited. 

6. Rest & self-care is everything. 

7. Positive change begins in the mind. 

8. I really LOVE who I'm becoming. 

9. My purpose is bigger than I ever imagined. 

10. I don't like boxes (I'm a free spirit)! 

11. I'm changing in unique ways!

12. Not having a husband or children yet is okay...REALLY it's okay!

13. I don't like driving people places.

14. I like my own company...a lot.

15. Writing poetry all day makes me smile.

16. I will lose the extra pounds when I'm really ready to and it has to be because I want to lose them.

17. The world won't end if the next relationship doesn't work.

18. Being a little disorganized isn't the worse thing, yet it's something I'm working on.

19. Water really is better for me and I've always liked it better than soda.

20. Most of my fears aren't real unless I make them so.

21. I can do ANYTHING!

22. Being a black woman author rocks!

I pray you create your own list and realize that your knowledge today may be completely different a few months or years from now which is okay! We put a lot of false weight on our shoulders because of these "made up" social norms that really don't define who we are as people. Not everyone has the same path or purpose so we have to stop living our lives as if we are everyone else with their same make up. YOU were chosen specifically to be exactly who you are, not a carbon copy of anyone else. This is what makes you unique! So, go ahead and create your own list of what you know for sure and keep it safe, maybe in a journal or on the back of your vision board in order to have it handy when you'd like to check it out, reflect and possibly create another list. I wish you infinite blessings, peace and prosperity as you embrace a new year! You deserve a fabulous year...never forget it! Be safe and serene!

Serenity & Sunshine,
Celest Divine
#SheSPEAKS